Interviewing
Nine mistakes that ruin a family interview
· 6 min read
Most disappointing family interviews fail for the same handful of reasons: asking two questions at once, correcting facts mid-answer, filling silences, starting with the hardest subject, and interviewing someone in front of their own family. All of them are habits rather than skills, which means they can be dropped in a single session.
1. Asking two questions at once
A double question always loses one half. The person answers whichever came second, because that is what they heard last, and the first is quietly abandoned. Ask one thing, then wait.
2. Correcting dates and facts mid-answer
Interrupting to say it was 1967, not 1968, teaches the person that this is an accuracy test. Answers immediately become shorter and more careful, and the vivid material stops.
Note the discrepancy and check it afterwards. Nothing in a family story depends on the year being right in the first draft.
3. Filling the silence
The interviewer is almost always less comfortable with a pause than the person being interviewed. A three-second silence feels like ten to the person holding the recorder and like normal thinking time to everyone else.
The answer that arrives after a long pause is regularly the best material in the session, because the immediate answer is the rehearsed one.
4. Starting with the hardest subject
Opening with a death, an estrangement or a regret is the fastest way to end a session early. Early childhood is the standard warm-up in oral history for a reason: it is detailed, unguarded and low-stakes.
5. Offering your own memory as a prompt
Saying "wasn't that the year we moved?" replaces their recall with yours. They will agree, and the independent memory is lost. Ask what they remember, then let it be different from your version.
6. Interviewing in front of the family
People edit themselves in front of an audience, and most of all in front of their own children. One-to-one sessions produce franker answers, and a spouse in the room changes what gets said about a marriage.
7. Working through the list instead of the person
A prepared list is essential, but following it rigidly means walking past the material the person actually wants to talk about. When someone volunteers something unprompted, that is the interview telling you where to go.
8. Recording for too long
Sessions over an hour produce visibly shorter answers towards the end, and both people leave tired. Several 45-minute conversations produce more usable material than one marathon.
9. Not asking what things looked like
Answers about events read as summary; answers about appearances read as story. "What did the room look like?" and "what was he wearing?" turn a factual account into something a reader can picture, and almost nobody asks them.
Common questions
- Why are my family interview answers so short?
- Usually because the questions are broad, or because the silence after an answer is being filled too quickly. Ask something specific and sensory, then wait several seconds before speaking again.
- Should I correct my relative if they get a date wrong?
- Not during the answer. Correcting mid-flow signals that accuracy is being tested and shortens everything that follows. Note it and check afterwards.
- How long should a family interview last?
- Forty-five to sixty minutes. Beyond an hour, answers measurably shorten as both people tire.